Arms of an Angel

So if you've read my previous posts, you'll know that I was out in high school. I sort of eluded to some of the horrible experience I've had in high school, but I think it's important to remember and talk about the positive stuff as well.


So grade 11, I was 17 years old, I was out, I was fabulous, and I actually had a pretty good group of friends. All the girls loved me, the guys were mostly indifferent to me, which was fine, because I was also pretty indifferent to them as well. Well my high school had this leadership program from grade 11 students, that kids from all over the city would come to take.

Well in our grade 11 year, there were a few of my friends taking this course and we ended up adding a couple of extra people to our group that year. And one was J.


J was absolutely and utterly beautiful. He was like 6'3", somewhere around 190lbs, considering how much muscle he had on him, big hands and feet (and we all like to pretend what that insinuates), blonde shaggy hair and the most beautiful hazel eyes.

Needless to say, I was head over heels from the moment I met him, as was every girl in my group.


So at this point, I was out, it was no secret that i was gay, and was one of the reasons a lot of the guys in my group didn't pay much attention to me, and to be honest I was really alright with that, none of them were all that attractive. But with J, well he did pay attention to me. He said, hi, he talked to me, he actually acknowledged me. Which just deepened my crush on him. But he was straight, and it would never happen. I accepted that fact, but a boy's allowed to fantasize.

A few months into him hanging with us, he came with our group to the last school dance of the year. Now I used to love school dances, and i went to every one. I loved to get my groove on, and totally hammed it up with my girls. Usually making a production of our dances.

So at the dances, all the guys usually didn't show up, so more often then not, it was me and the girls on the dance floor, and the boys stood off to the side until the slow songs. Well the first slow song of the night hit, and J came up to me, and asked me to dance. I gave him a weird look like he had three heads, and told him no. I thought he was just taking the piss out of me. Like it was some big joke that he was going to embarass me if I danced with him, or if I said yes, he'd yell out something like, "Well I'm not a fag so DEAL!"


He kept trying to ask me to, but I kept telling him no, it's not going to happen. And made myself busy with one of my girls. He finally gave up halfway through the dance, which made me breathe a sigh of relief.

Last dance of the night, I'm dancing with my best friend H, it was Boys 2 Men's "On Bended Knee. When J comes up to me and taps me on the shoulder and asks if he could cut in. I said sure, it was the last dance of the night, and I kind of wanted to run out for a smoke, and wait for everyone out there. So I back up so he could dance with H, but to my surprise, he grabs me around the waist with such force that the only way I could keep my balance was to wrap my
arms around him. He held me tight making sure that I didn't fall.

I looked him in the eyes, and all I could get out was, "Why?"


"All night, you've been dancing with girls, you've never got to dance with anyone you like. I know you have a crush on me, and I'm flattered, but I'm not gay. But I don't mind giving you a dance."

The tears started to well him in my eyes, at this time I had never been kissed, never had a boyfriend, and this is the closest I've ever gotten to physical intimacy with someone I actually wanted, "But... all the guys here they're going to just assum..." I started to say, but he cut across me.


"Dude, I couldn't give a shit what the morons in this school think of me. So shut up and enjoy the dance." He joked, giving me a warm smile.

The tears started coming in full force, so I buried my head in his shoulder, and he just held me and danced with me while I cried.