An Open Letter to My Most Recent Bullies

Dear bullies who just followed me into my lobby, 

I want to thank you for taking the time out of your night of chain smoking and binge drinking to teach me a valuable lesson.  Tonight you taught me that it wasn't just men smelling like dive bars that can evoke my fight or flight response, no, it's anyone who smells like a dive bar.

Thank you for taking the time to scream obscenities about how fat and gay I am, because I wouldn't invite you to my apartment so you could wait for your ride in relative comfort. Seriously, thank you, it really made my night to be told how awful a person I am because I am gay and overweight by three women who were wearing more make-up then a gaggle of drag queens,  looking like they just walked off the set of Jersey Shore.

I am sorry that your mating rituals didn't pan out for you this evening and you felt the need to take it out on a guy that woke up in the middle of the night with a sore throat that just wanted to go to the store for some ginger ale.  I guess there wasn't enough juiced up douche 'bros' to go around tonight.  Probably because they got so drunk that their true intentions came out. Literally. 'came-out', as they're probably all fucking each other on the down-low right now.

Maybe you actually secretly expect that and it's why you were so blatantly homophobic tonight.

And last but not least, I want to thank you for making my agoraphobia that much worse, for turning me into a sobbing mess when I got back to the safety of my apartment and increasing my urge to eat away my pain.  Thank you for evoking this emotional response in me, as it's something I am working very hard to be rid of.

I'm not really thanking you of course, but you are giving me the chance to work on my skills to help dial back my anxiety from an 11.  It's probably down to about an 8 now, I won't be able to go back to sleep now though, so thanks for giving me the chance to maybe be a bit productive?

Love,

David O'Garr

The women who my open letter is directed to were not idiots because they were women, they were idiots because they were drunken idiots. I want to make that distinction, because I have commented on a lot of blogs lately from idiots who claim misandry and how all women are evil, so if any of them see this, I don't want them to think that there's any chance that I wouId want them to think that I would be in the least bit sympathetic to their movement if they click onto my blog link.   I still very much maintain that all men and women suffer under the patriarchal framework, and all suffer from misogyny and systematic sexist oppression that create a gender binary that doesn't respect all the hues of the spectrum in between the two points.  (sorry that was a bit wordy, but I don't like using the term 'shades of grey' anymore)

Now that I have said all of this, I realize that this is all pretty spiteful and passive aggressive, which are reactions that I am trying to work on, as it tends to be my default response.  But at the same time I feel a lot better after writing it.  I'm really at a loss at how I could have been more skillful and effective in this situation.