Accepting Radically?

So I've been having a lot of trouble writing lately.  Which isn't new, I tend to go up and down.  I promise myself that I am going to make the effort so I can keep my blog updated, but I end up just getting triggered and shut down.  I can't count how many times I've tried to write an entry, but it just comes out a garbled mess and I delete it.

There's the big question?  How do you write about your experiences, especially current ones; expieriences and issues that you're trying to address so you can get over them, without shutting down from triggering yourself.

Webster's Falls in Hamilton - Just because I love this place.
Photo credit: http://bit.ly/SFURJO

So my psychiatrist has mentioned to me that Dialectical Behavioural Therapy (DBT) is about dealing with the present, and not so much with the past.  I don't compeletely understand how you can really do that, especially if it's past issues that are getting in the way of relationships or success in the here and now. I am sure I will come to understand it when I start DBT though, which is actually going to be next week.  Well, sort of anyway, I'm taking an 8 week crash course DBT group on coping skills, at this clinic in Hamilton, since the waiting list for the DBT list, which I am FINALLY on is 7 months long.

There's a few topics I want to tackle over the next little while, but I think I am going to try and write about the skills as I'm learning them.  Everyone I talk to seems that Radical Acceptence is going to be the most needed and difficult one for me.  From what I know about it right now I'd have to agree.  In fact, I've been a bit afraid to read a lot into it.

It's funny, I wrote this entire entry here, about something that I felt I needed to talk about.  I was feeling guilt and shame in regards to these feelings, and was hoping to use this blog to let them go.  I guess sort of a practice in radical acceptance.   But I think I went a little too far, and I may have offended someone.  I hope I didn't, and I don't think I did.  But I kept stressing out about it and had decided to take the blog post down.

Instead of deleting it though, I have decided to edit it.  Not because I don't accept the feelings, but I think sometimes it's okay to not air every single thought and emotion that I'm having.  It's not that I'm bottling it, but I think it's okay to process things sometimes without the input of others.

For example. if I am feeling guilt about something, I think it's important that I recognize why I am feeling that guilt and accept it and let it go. Where I think it's okay to use my blog as a way to process, I need to stop using it as a way to communicate personal feelings I should be processing privately.   Or at least, don't process them in a way that gives anything away or projects something onto someone else.  My healing process shouldn't force someone else to feel stressed out.

So feelings of guilt, shame, stress, all these emotions and feelings that stress us out, how do we deal with that stress?  Well like I said above, you need to recognize and then let it go. Forgive yourself and then if you still feeling a bit agitated.  Do something that makes you smile.

Now I'm not talking about that, make yourself smile and you'll feel happy philosophy, and in fact I find that to be kind of dismissive of people's emotions.  But take the time to do something that just makes you feel happy, relaxed, joy, comfort, love or anything else positive.  Make yourself a cup of tea and read a book.  Bake some muffins. Watch TV or play video games.  All these things make me feel better.   You just need to find what works right for you.

Just don't forget to breathe.