Conflict

It's something that a lot of us tend to shy away from.  We're scared of it when we really shouldn't be.

We are raised in a way that teaches us to never strive much beyond the status quo.  We tend to bottle up the things that bother us.  We never bring them up.  We never cause a scene.  We keep on following this path to mediocrity, but it doesn't lead us where we want to go.  It’s a flawed system.

Conflict promotes change and change is really one of the only things the human race is best at.

As Max Lucado said, “Conflict is inevitable but combat is optional.”  So, this isn't about throwing punches, but it is about standing up for yourself.  Planting your feet and saying, 'No, this isn't right.'  This is about questioning authority and working towards what's rightfully yours.

But maybe you're wrong.  That's okay.  The very challenge you made helps you and the other learn something.  You’ve learned why you were wrong and learned a new perspective.  They learned that you have convictions and, maybe, they learned that they need to be clearer with their words and thoughts too.

Conflict isn't just about winning or being right, it’s aboutlearning. 

This is why my best friends are not afraid to call me on my shit.  If you do things in a way that doesn't dismiss the other persons feelings or concerns, and teach them about another perspective then it’s good.  It’s healthy conflict.  I have a few friends that are particularly adept at telling me to shut up and help me understand at the same time.

Conflict doesn't need to be this big scary thing.  It pushes us to change and to learn.  We can't grow as people, or in our relationships, if we don’t have conflict.  Things can't always stay the same.

Overall, there needs to be balance too.  As necessary as conflict is, so is the peace, the quiet, the fun and loving moments you spend with one another.  I am not questioning that.    But, if you can't fight well with someone, then the playing time will get real boring real fast.