Conflict

It's something that a lot of us tend to shy away from.  We're scared of it when we really shouldn't be.

We are raised in a way that teaches us to never strive much beyond the status quo.  We tend to bottle up the things that bother us.  We never bring them up.  We never cause a scene.  We keep on following this path to mediocrity, but it doesn't lead us where we want to go.  It’s a flawed system.

Conflict promotes change and change is really one of the only things the human race is best at.

As Max Lucado said, “Conflict is inevitable but combat is optional.”  So, this isn't about throwing punches, but it is about standing up for yourself.  Planting your feet and saying, 'No, this isn't right.'  This is about questioning authority and working towards what's rightfully yours.

But maybe you're wrong.  That's okay.  The very challenge you made helps you and the other learn something.  You’ve learned why you were wrong and learned a new perspective.  They learned that you have convictions and, maybe, they learned that they need to be clearer with their words and thoughts too.

Conflict isn't just about winning or being right, it’s aboutlearning. 

This is why my best friends are not afraid to call me on my shit.  If you do things in a way that doesn't dismiss the other persons feelings or concerns, and teach them about another perspective then it’s good.  It’s healthy conflict.  I have a few friends that are particularly adept at telling me to shut up and help me understand at the same time.

Conflict doesn't need to be this big scary thing.  It pushes us to change and to learn.  We can't grow as people, or in our relationships, if we don’t have conflict.  Things can't always stay the same.

Overall, there needs to be balance too.  As necessary as conflict is, so is the peace, the quiet, the fun and loving moments you spend with one another.  I am not questioning that.    But, if you can't fight well with someone, then the playing time will get real boring real fast.

A Week In The Life - # 1

So it's Sunday evening, we are at the dawn of a new week, and I wanted to take some time to reflect about what I have learned this week.


It’s okay to have a bad day.

Seriously, it’s not the end of the world. It doesn’t mean that you’re back sliding back to where you were. It’s just a bad day, and sometimes they happen, and you just have to let it. Bad days are stressful, and there’s no point in stressing yourself out more about it. Just let it happen, go home, and have a nice tea latte made with Mother’s Valium Little Helper.


You can have a lot of respect for somebody, but not really like them all that much. 

This was not an easy lesson to learn. There is someone in my life that I just can't put my finger on what it is that I don't like about them. You see I respect this person a lot, I feel I have a lot to learn from them, I appreciate and welcome their feedback and criticisms, I also enjoy talking to this person from time to time. But they tell me some things sometimes that just really irk me, I see and hear about their behaviour and it makes me want to give them a lecture on ethics and manners. But not rey my place to do so.

So it's okay to respect someone, and not like them all the time. I'm not saying that I hate this person, but I believe I just need to limit the amount of time I'm around them. I'm fairly certain they feel the same way. So just let it be what it is, you're never going to like everyone, and not everyone is going to like you, but it doesn't mean that everyone has to be jerks to one another.   You can still be friendly and respectful and kind even.

Treatment can work, if you let it. 

I've been on treatment for a little over a month now, and I'm telling you, things are starting to work. I've had more energy this week that I have ever had in my life. I am starting to really feel like a real person. This is amazing. To finally feel like I can accomplish something, that I can actually live up to the potential that so many people tell me I have, that I myself feel that I have. I can get out there and do good work.

Loose Leaf Tea is a Goddess Send. 

If you've never been to DAVIDsTEA then you need to get yourself to one ASAP. This wasn't really a lesson that I learned this week, but rather one that I was reminded of. Also, yes I said Goddess, because seriously, if there is a deity that gave us tea, she is a woman, and she's probably queer.

That work is work, and you shouldn’t have to take it home with you.

Seriously, it's okay to leave it at work, and not worry about it when you get home. IT'S OKAY!

You have amazing and beautiful friends.

Seriously, I do, these people in my life are amazing.  I was asked this week to have one of my posts published in a aboriginal cultural and news magazine called, Tusaayaksat that is based out of Inuvik, NT.  This is something that couldn't have been accomplished with out my dear friend Maia L.

Upon hearing this news, my friends gave me a tonne of support.   A lot of them posted it all over facebook, Kristin C. took it a level higher and started tweeting the hell out of my blog, and I had Kate Bornstein comment on it, which was an incredible honour.

And you'd think that would be enough, but another friend who was being interview on CBC radio asked me my permission to read my piece on air.  This didn't happen, but to have all these beautiful and wonderful people show pride in me?  Well it was a little over whelming.

But wait, there's one more thing, and I know that at this point I might be bragging, but some people in the blogosphere might be aware of the incredibly fun and talented Sare3 she has an incredibly blog that is beautiful and inspiring in the simplicity of it's lay out, and the honest way that she write and shares what she does.  Her blog often makes me smile everytime I check it out.

Well she wrote something that was dedicated to me, and I want to link to it, because I have never been so touched by someone's words.  They were kind, and part of me feels that I don't deserve or live up to them, but I will let you decide that. So please check it out, and check out her blog to! Thursdays Song of Day: Us

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Well I think that's quite a list of lessons to learn in one week, I look forward to a new week of ups and downs, and more lessons to learn.  And maybe I might get lucky and win the lottery!  Heh.

See you tomorrow!